To make a friend, I have to change Lyme Disease

As I struggle to do my taxes, among yet another brutal week of treatment, my credit card transactions tell me something very clear that I pretend doesn’t exist. The transactions read: Doctor, doctor, supplements, doctor, supplements, and so on… 3 years ago it read: My favorite bar, a new restaurant, clothes, crossfit classes, 5k registration… Its not only that my life has become all about my health, its that there is no friendship in my transactions.

Almost ever previous transaction was a socialization with friends. We went to other countries, we worked out together, we tried new foods. I had 2 expenses on my credit cards for dining out with friends for the YEAR. Loosing the people I thought would be my friends forever has been something I try to forget about constantly but it never stays hidden. I don’t consider myself a sick person or a spoonie but as I look over my credit card statements I have nothing to disagree with that labeling.

I very much consider a friendship a two way street and I’m sure some of the burden falls on me. I am not a perfect friend. I just thought my friends would be there for me when I needed them.

At this point, my friends are 90% people who share my illness. They are the ones who understand the suffering without saying it, the ones who let me cancel plans without an interrogation, who understand why I am broke and struggling, because they unfortunately get it because they live it too.

When I sit pondering how to raise awareness for Lyme Disease, I’m at such a loss because even my friends don’t care. How am I supposed to rally strangers if I can’t even rally those who were my friends? I have no doubt I will return to an at least functional level one day but I frequently worry about what my friendships will be like. There’s no logic in returning to friendships that weren’t there for you but how do you find the ride or die friends? I feel that having all friends who are struggling with Lyme gives you a narrowed view but at the same time how do you pretend to be normal when you arnt? How do you explain what you have been through without looks of pity or disregard?

As I finish counting transactions, the answer is still the same, that I have no idea how to maintain relationships with friends through Lyme. Honesty is scary and faking it is insincere.  All I can hope for at this point is that my awareness efforts will some day make a big enough impact to be understood in the way cancer and HIV is now. If they can do it, I can do it. And, no my taxes still are not finished.

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To make a friend, I have to change Lyme Disease

Ozone was good, but the doctor was not.

While in Pennsylvania I started hydrocortisone, had a small dose of DIV ozone, and did an ozone sauna. I had intended to do more ozone but the hydrocortisone made me so sick I couldn’t do any more ozone. I had been warned that this was not a good choice but I tried to trust the doctor. By the 5th day on it, I was shaking, dizzy, muscle aches, the usual low adrenal issues I worked so hard to get above. When I asked the doctor why this was happening he said he had no idea. Minor detail this was after I had to sit and wait for him for over an hour when I already had a DIV appointment.

A short version is I’m extremely disappointed in the care I received, especially for the price. I paid hundreds of dollars to get more sick. I will be having a phone consult next week to address the issues with him. I would really like to continue ozone, especially since I paid all his costs to get in his care but I do not want his medical advice anymore. We will see how he handles it.

By Monday, I had to call The Country Store (my favorite amazing herbalists). Charlie gave me 2 great recommendations and I went from almost having a public meltdown over nothing to fine within almost 15 minutes. It seems crystal clear to me that I need to move my care completely to The Country Store. My plan at this point is to finish my last few rounds of Bartonella antibioitics with Jemsek, follow The Country Store’s recommendations, and get some more ozones in if possible. While I think Jemsek’s antibioitic protocol has been essential to my improvement, I think the herbal method of restablizing the body while removing the toxins has been what is giving me the ability to function back. What is most important is that I can count on them. I am used to calling a doctor and they tell me they don’t know what to do to help or making me wait for days, Liz always is there with a suggestion. Every call I’ve ever made to her has resulted in a significant improvement in symptoms if not within hours, within the days it takes her to get more herbs to me. Being able to rely on someone for great care when things are bad is something I cant tell you how important it has been to me.

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Yesterday for the first time in years, I drove myself, alone, down to the drug store and back. While this isn’t a big deal to many, this is huge for me. I didn’t feel good, my anxiety from not driving in years was kicking, but I was able to get through it. This is one huge step to getting my independence back. To be able to do minor things like get my own food, pick up my prescriptions, and maybe see my friends again is something I have been dying to get back. I am terrified and can’t wait for my next drive.

Yesterday was also a magical day that many LW projects had major things come together so things are looking up. Back on the right health plan, LW plan, and life plan. So with a fist full of antibioitcs and my side kick, I’m jumping back in. Life full steam ahead! And by full steam I mean nap time!

Ozone was good, but the doctor was not.

Whats as good as a doctor? A spoonie.

For the first year and some of my illness I bounced from specialist to specialist and didn’t get anywhere. When I finally knew what I had, I joined a support group. There I found the endless info I had been looking for.

People with chronic illnesses (Spoonies or specifically Lymies for Lyme Disease) are a untapped wealth of medical information. These people have dealt with it all and really know what works. Instead of calling my doctor and waiting for 24 to 48 hours for an answer, I now just go to the message boards to find out what others are doing.

Being on these message boards on Facebook another social media opened me up to a wealth of information that you can’t get anywhere else. They helped me with special diet foods, holistic treatment, support, and made me aware of things that we use daily that can be harmful. If you are ever in need of support, you don’t have to look any farther than your phone or computer, people are out there offering to help.

Click here for Toxin Free Skin Care & Make Up

Whats as good as a doctor? A spoonie.