To make a friend, I have to change Lyme Disease

As I struggle to do my taxes, among yet another brutal week of treatment, my credit card transactions tell me something very clear that I pretend doesn’t exist. The transactions read: Doctor, doctor, supplements, doctor, supplements, and so on… 3 years ago it read: My favorite bar, a new restaurant, clothes, crossfit classes, 5k registration… Its not only that my life has become all about my health, its that there is no friendship in my transactions.

Almost ever previous transaction was a socialization with friends. We went to other countries, we worked out together, we tried new foods. I had 2 expenses on my credit cards for dining out with friends for the YEAR. Loosing the people I thought would be my friends forever has been something I try to forget about constantly but it never stays hidden. I don’t consider myself a sick person or a spoonie but as I look over my credit card statements I have nothing to disagree with that labeling.

I very much consider a friendship a two way street and I’m sure some of the burden falls on me. I am not a perfect friend. I just thought my friends would be there for me when I needed them.

At this point, my friends are 90% people who share my illness. They are the ones who understand the suffering without saying it, the ones who let me cancel plans without an interrogation, who understand why I am broke and struggling, because they unfortunately get it because they live it too.

When I sit pondering how to raise awareness for Lyme Disease, I’m at such a loss because even my friends don’t care. How am I supposed to rally strangers if I can’t even rally those who were my friends? I have no doubt I will return to an at least functional level one day but I frequently worry about what my friendships will be like. There’s no logic in returning to friendships that weren’t there for you but how do you find the ride or die friends? I feel that having all friends who are struggling with Lyme gives you a narrowed view but at the same time how do you pretend to be normal when you arnt? How do you explain what you have been through without looks of pity or disregard?

As I finish counting transactions, the answer is still the same, that I have no idea how to maintain relationships with friends through Lyme. Honesty is scary and faking it is insincere.  All I can hope for at this point is that my awareness efforts will some day make a big enough impact to be understood in the way cancer and HIV is now. If they can do it, I can do it. And, no my taxes still are not finished.

To make a friend, I have to change Lyme Disease

When did sunscreen get dangerous?

“Of the 1,400+ sunscreens tested by the EWG, only 5% met their safety standards and over 40% were listed as potentially contributing to skin cancer”. WHAT??? Wellness Mama

Recently everyone has been talking about sunscreen with the beautiful weather. Did you know sunscreen either has a mineral or chemical filter? Both of which have concerns of being hormone disrupting, penetrating to live tissue, etc.

“The most problematic of the sunscreen chemicals used in the U.S. is oxybenzone, found in nearly every chemical sunscreen. EWG recommends that consumers avoid this chemical because it can penetrate the skin, cause allergic skin reactions and may disrupt hormones.” EWG

Further they have found that almost half the ingredients are “inactive ingredients” or fillers, many of which have been tagged as allergens or having other issues.

In summary, I have put in my order for Beautycounter’s sunscreen which is EWG approved and free of all these toxins.

Get yours and help support my Lyme treatment at

When did sunscreen get dangerous?

Popular skin care increases tumors by 69%

A friend shared this link with me today and I thought, “This is exactly what I’m talking about”. this-popular-moisturizer-applied-to-mice-for-17-weeks-got-69-more-tumors-1/

Essentially what you need to know … “Irradiated mice who were treated with the moisturizers exhibited a significant increase in their rate of tumor formation and increase in tumor size per mouse. Treatment of the mice with Dermabase, Dermovan, Eucerin, or Vanicream for 17 weeks increased the total number of histologically characterized tumors by 69 percent”.

With a world where cancer is prevalent and millions of other diseases, we need to really be aware of what we are using. This article outlines a few very common ingredients that are known toxins. Remembering the whole list of toxins to me is over-whelming. This is just another reason why I use Beauty Counter for everything. They have already done all this research and more to keep their products toxin free. The Never List was published by Beauty Counter as their promise of what they will not put in your products.Never List

Also, coconut oil is the basis for most Beauty Counter products. Not only is coconut oil non-
toxin but it has anti-fungal qualities, making it not only non-toxic but genuinely beneficial. Whichever product you use, make sure you are protected.

Check out Beauty Counter Products here

Popular skin care increases tumors by 69%