Today was a huge step forward for me today in my Lyme recovery. I have not driven a car by myself for any long distance since April 2015. Now 1.5 years later, I made my first solo highway drive for about a hour by myself.
I’ve been staying in Richmond because the isolation of living in the country with my parents quite frankly was driving me insane. I love to visit but after the 2nd week of isolation you start getting a little stir crazy. My Mom & brothers met me part of the way towards Richmond and I was able to drive my car, my cat, and myself home.
It was absolutely not easy. I have a lot of anxieties surrounding driving because of a few bad experiences and general Lyme anxiety. I spent the first hour getting to the car with my stomach in knots trying to think of anything but my symptoms. Fortunately when I got behind the wheel and got on the highway it was one of the most freeing experience I’ve had in a very long time. I have relied on someone to get me places for 1.5 years now. I always had to consider their schedule, time, feelings, opinions on radio choices, temperature gauge….. when I was on the highway alone, there was no one to please but me. To not have to consider someone else was like a weight melting off my body. While considering someone’s choices is easy to do short term, after years it becomes this heavy burden of feeling second best because everything is a constant favor from someone. For one hour, I could put all my preferences first. While this trip was very short, it was fantastic. While this may sound horribly selfish, it reminded me of the wonderful days where I didn’t have to share my choices with my disease.
Hopefully with having my car, I can now get to more events that I had been missing, promote Lyme Warrior more, and in general take care of myself. I am sure tomorrow I will be solidly glued to the couch in recovery from my adventure but it will be worth it. I have my cat back living with me and Lyme Warrior is booming with the awesome new leggings in stock. I know there will be a crash and more low days ahead, but I am defiantly headed up.