4 Days ago I started Rifampin in addition to my other antibiotics. I feel like ripping my own hair out.
It is honestly a luxury to complain about my emotional symptoms more than my physical ones. My heart palpatations have calmed down, my overheating is tolerable, lightheadedness not bad… I don’t feel great, but damn am I irritable.
With so much going on in the last few month I’ve learned to manage the demands of my virtual job, Lyme Warrior, and Beautycounter in addition to travel and family, but now that I’m home and things have slowed down I find myself stewing over the things I’m waiting on or the problems I can’t immediately fix. Maybe it wasn’t a brilliant idea to try to run a company while dealing with illness. I find myself really wishing I had some in-person friends to distract me but its become easier to work all day then to have close friendships while sick. I mostly blame this on not being able to drive.
I find myself closer than I have been in the last 2 years to being better but so disorientingly far from where I thought my life would be. Living on a mountain top with my parents working my butt off and scrounging for money for medical treatment wasn’t really the plan. There is no doubt to me I’m on my way out but maybe the drugs are making my cynical. In not so short, I really am not enjoying Rifampin but I am getting better.