With Facebook posting their friend’s day thing and heading back to my city soon I’ve been returning to the idea of friends. My Facebook friends montage was entirely from years ago. Not even anything in the last two years. This is because I don’t go anywhere or do anything with people from being sick. The great friends they showed me are all my co-workers who forgot I existed 2 weeks after I left my job.
It is a daily struggle for me to not be resentful of the people I called friends. People I thought I had real connections with don’t return my calls, people from my childhood who don’t even know I’m ill, or people I vacationed with I haven’t heard from in two years. The people I talk to now are my few really close friends and people online. I continually think, well, if people don’t care if I’m okay then I guess that’s the end of our friendship. But then they were all gone. Pretty much if I don’t reach out to people I won’t ever hear from them again or it will be months.
I have been accused of being overly passionate about my bonds and connections with others before but I dont want half-assed friendships. Not texting back is rude. Knowing people are sick and ignoring them in insensitive. Why do I feel crazy for thinking this? Why is it such an abnormal thing to reach out to people?
I don’t know why things have become this way but I’m ready for a change. If anyone knows where the ride or die friends are tell them to give me a call.